Life has some crazy twists. One week it seems like everything is just as it should be, finally things are going my way, then something so unexpected can creep in and shake everything up. It can appear to knock everything off course. Yes, I do mean appear. It seems like everything it so crazy, but God never looses control.
He never looses His cool.
When you find that you have fallen, fearing all is lost, look around you and you will see that He has had you in his arms all along.
Let me explain a little of what I am talking about.
February 9th around 11:00pm, I was strongly feeling led to fill my life with teaching, Biblical teaching. I had never done anything like that before, in fact, I grew up around some Christians who warned against reading books or listening to sermons, Christian television and the like. Unfortunately, over the years I had learned to have an attitude about such things, without even realizing it. Well, on that night, it hit me so strong that without even taking time to think through and deeply consider, I just turned on my tv to TBN and started watching.
I can not tell you now what it was they were teaching that night. I honestly don’t remember. What I do remember is how I felt inside. I just felt right. Like when you know you are just where you are supposed to be.
After the program was over, I read some Word and went to bed feeling more at peace then I think I have ever felt before in my life. I knew the next morning I would be taking in more teaching. I knew that there are so many things I need to learn and understand. Thank You, God for raising up these vessels for Your words to flow through. It has totally changed my whole life.
I started getting up at 5:00am, taking time to pray and spend time with God, then, rather then saying “amen” and forgetting all about Him, I took God with me all through my day. I brought Him in all I did. I figured out creative ways to listen to sermons and teaching while doing my daily tasks and discovered just how much better my time was spent listing to God’s Word rather then watching the latest designs on Trading Spaces or listing to my favorite album.
I kept this routine up for 2 solid months and had every intention of making it my life from that day forward, but this is where an unexpected twist comes in. You see God will always keep us moving on. Always growing, always learning, always changing. I wanted nothing more then to just stay right where I was, filling my mind with all there is to know of God and His ways, but God has much, MUCH bigger plans for this life He has given to me.
I remember one day feeling that it was time for me to pull away a little. I knew I was starting to neglect my family and duties, things people were depending on me to do. I kept telling myself, “That is so not right! I am doing this for God.”. I kept fighting off the feeling of needing to get back into life, convincing myself that somehow I had gotten to “holy” to do those meaningless tasks.
It is funny to think back on it now because I know how it felt to be at that place. I felt like I was invincible. Like I had arrived. Ha haa ha! I can’t imagine how my “holiness” must have looked to God. I am sure I don’t want to know. I do know, when I look back on it, I was becoming full of pride and self-confidence. At the one time in my life when I thought I was leaning on God the most, I was completely missing Him.
DON'T GO YET! I'm not done.
See, what I was doing was not wrong at all, in fact I am still quite sure that God was leading me to learn, just as I had said. The thing that went wrong was me. I became so proud of all I was learning, and saw so much power in knowing so much, that I forgot the very heart of it. I was no longer even applying some of the very things I was learning.
::::: My real point in telling all of this - Although I could not see that I had strayed, God could see it all, every move, every motive. I would have led myself to complete destruction, even with something so seemingly good. BUT, God would not let that happen. He saw exactly where I was headed and set me back on track.
I still love listening to teaching and filling myself with God’s wisdom and knowledge. I recommend spending more time filling yourselves with God rather then tv, movies, or whatever you personally fill your hours with. But, rather then neglecting all else, learn to bring God everywhere you go. Say short prayers all through the day. Talk with friends and family about what you have been reading in the Word. Take time to pray with others and for others.
Pray for God to show ways to bring Him more and more into your life and into the lives of those you are spending your days with.
He will be faithful in answering your prayer.
Karen reminisced
at 12:01 AM CDT