Waiting For Marriage
My Story
I can vividly remember laying across the couch in our living room, staring out the window, not looking at anything in particular, just dreaming away. I was only about 5 then but I remember that moment so well. I think it stayed so vivid in my mind because the subject of the dream that day meant so much to me. It was so real, while still being too impossible. So hard to believe it might actually happen to me. I was dreaming about my husband. My lifelong best friend.
I am not sure what made me think about that then, so young, but I do remember the way I thought about marriage. I honestly thought of marriage as a bond of friendship mixed in with lots of unconditional love. Maybe I have my parents to thank for that image, or maybe i had been taught to think so in Sunday school, but however I knew it, I knew it. I remember thinking that there is only one. One guy out there is for me and me alone, no other is for me to take and no other should take from me. I said a little prayer that day, as I stared out the window. I asked God to take care of him and take care of me, "and God please let him be real, let us be together forever someday...".

I held on to that dream all through my school years. I saw all of my friends go through boyfriend after boyfriend, many times a new one every week. I always felt a little sick about the whole thing. I would always wonder "what happened to the dream?". Why all of these games, giving ourselves away just to end up alone again? After a while, I convinced myself that the dream I had as a child, about love and there being one out there just for me, it was only the fantasies of a 5 year old, nothing more.

By the time I was nearing 14, I was hearing more and more about this thing called sex. Before it was just a little unknown thing I would hear others giggle about, no one really having a clue what it is, but suddenly it was everywhere and far too many knew exactly what it is. No longer was it just the issue of who is holding hands with who, or who is kissing who, suddenly it turned into who is sleeping with who.
I felt scared, confused and seriously overwhelmed. I wasn't sure what my rights were. Does this mean I have to do it too? What if I don't want to? What if someone else does want to?
I had always been told it was wrong, not something unmarried people do, but it also didn't exist then. Now it was real and actually happening.
Very rarely, did I ever hear anyone teach on the subject, at church or elsewhere. In fact, the only time my friends and I ever heard about it at all was straight from the worlds point of view. To be honest, even I was confused. I knew I was against it and God is against it, but I had no idea why.

About the age of 16, all of my friends, one by one, were becoming pregnant, some in church youth groups, and I heard stories about many, many others. I saw families torn apart, futures forever changed and shame filled places in peoples lives where hope had once been. I started to learn, all too clearly, why God speaks against that kind of life, but I was still so confused. Why would God create something so evil? I started looking in my Bible. I knew that the Bible said something on the subject. I had tried so hard to avoid anything and everything having to do with sex that I had always overlooked all of the teaching God had given us about His view of sex and His reason for creating it.

My Vow
My name is Karen.
I am 25 years old.
I am proud to say I am still a virgin.
I have made a vow of purity before God.
Psalm 119:9, 1 Corinthians 10:13

I have made the decision to wait, to remain a virgin until after marriage.
Isaiah 30:18, Psalm 40:4-5, Lamentations 3:25-26

I am waiting for only ONE man, my husband.
Hebrews 13:4, Proverbs 5:15-20
1 Corinthians 7:2-4, Ephesians 5:31-35

I made this vow not only for my husband and myself, but for God who made me.
1 Corinthians 6:12-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:4-3

God made me out of His unconditional love for me.
He has plans and desires for my life,
far beyond what I could imagine or dream.
Hosea 14:9, Isaiah 30:18

I don't want to loose all God has for me
just to fit in or follow the crowd.
Proverbs 14:12

Or for just one moment of empty passion.
Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20


Defined
Casual sex (Taking place or existing before marriage)
makes a mockery of God's original idea for sex, treating sex
as an isolated physical act rather than an act of commitment to
another. Outside marriage, sex destroys relatonships.
Within marriage, if approached with the right attitude,
it can be a relationship builder. God frequently warns
people against the practice of extramarital sex (sex
between a married person and someone other than his or her spouse).
We need to hear His warnings.


God's Word On It
2 Peter 3:14
....make every effort to live a pure and blameless life. And be at peace with God

Song of Solomon 4:12 - Solomon's praise of his bride's virginity
"You are like a private garden, my treasure, my bride! You are like a spring that no one else can drink from, a fountain of my own."

Song of Solomon 2:7
"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right."

Ephesians 5:31-35
As the Scriptures say,
"A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one."[1] 32This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:2-4
Certainly--but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. 3The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality--the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. 4Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims. You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"?
Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. 15Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.
There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." 17Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever--the kind of sex that can never "become one." 18There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. 19Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. 20God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Proverbs 5:15-20 (NLT)
15Drink water from your own well--share your love only with your wife.[1] 16Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone?[2] 17You should reserve it for yourselves. Don't share it with strangers. 18Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. 20Why be captivated, my son, with an immoral woman, or embrace the breasts of an adulterous woman?

Hebrews 13:4
4Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.

Proverbs 5:15-23 (NLT)
15Drink water from your own well--share your love only with your wife. 16Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone? 17You should reserve it for yourselves. Don't share it with strangers. 18Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. 20Why be captivated, my son, with an immoral woman, or embrace the breasts of an adulterous woman? 21For the LORD sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. 22An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. 23He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his incredible folly.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT)
13But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.

Lamentations 3:25-26
25GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. 26It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD.

Isaiah 30:18
18But GOD's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. GOD takes the time to do everything right--everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.

Hosea 14:9
9If you want to live well,
make sure you understand all of this.
If you know what's good for you,
you'll learn this inside and out.
GOD's paths get you where you want to go.
Right-living people walk them easily;
wrong-living people are always tripping and stumbling.

Psalm 119:9-10 (NLT)
9
How can a young person stay pure?
By obeying your word and following its rules.
10
I have tried my best to find you--
don't let me wander from your commands.

1 Corinthians 7:9
9But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

Psalm 55:22 (NLT)
22
Give your burdens to the LORD,
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

Galatians 5:19-21
19It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; 20trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; 21the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community.
I could go on. This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

Psalm 40:4,5 (MSG)
4Blessed are you who give yourselves over to GOD,
turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
ignore what the world worships;
5The world's a huge stockpile
of GOD-wonders and God--thoughts.
Nothing and no one
comes close to you!
I start talking about you, telling what I know,
and quickly run out of words.
Neither numbers nor words
account for you.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 (NLT)
1Finally, dear brothers and sisters,[1] we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You are doing this already, and we encourage you to do so more and more. 2For you remember what we taught you in the name of the Lord Jesus. 3God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. 4Then each of you will control your body[2] and live in holiness and honor-- 5not abusing it, as is so common among those who know nothing of God. 6Never cheat a Christian brother in this matter by taking his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7God has called us to be holy, not to live impure lives. 8Anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human rules but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

Proverbs 14:12 (MSG)
12There's a way of life that looks harmless enough;
look again--it leads straight to hell.

Matthew 5:27
27"You know the next commandment pretty well, too: "Don't go to bed with another's spouse."

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